i have alot of them...i feel really alone right now...it seems i'm just a burden to everyone...which sucks alot...i can't seem to get everything just right...i can't seem to find the one place i feel the best...i can't seem to make life worth all the bullshit...i haven't felt this much like shit since...i don't even think i've felt more like shit before...i feel like an animal...i felt like my friends had a better grasp on the situation, when they were behind me all the way...before i committed to it...then, with the fresh stain on my record, i was dropped into the mud...where i feel i still am...waiting for someone to pick me up and rinse me off...which isn't going to happen...i don't know why i'm typing this...i just feel like fucking everything up even more...sure its a bad idea...but those are the only ones i can seem to think of...why not just go with it? what the fuck is the point of all this bullshit anyway? who needs to see what will happen when i get pushed too far? is it some kind of test? am i on some kind of trial (no pun intended)? what happens when i fail? i cant take this shit...it's all becoming too much...i can't find a release...drugs don't work...drinking doesn't work...there's nothing to smoke...there's nothing to drink...there's nothing to pop...there's nothing to rail...there's nothing to shoot...that can make this any better...

 

i'm not writing this for you people...i don't care if you read it or not...i don't care if you want to help...i don't care if you want to hurt...i really just don't care...about anything...one good turn deserves another tho...deal with it...somehow...just another bad idea from shane

 

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